Time to refocus...

Eminem- Cinderella Man

When you are young you feel invincible.  You can predict the future, you know exactly how you are going to do in whatever it is you choose.  This is how I felt going into the Grandma's Marathon.  I was going to run somewhere in the ballpark of 2:16 and I was going to qualify for the Olympic Trials and I was going to be something special.  People were going to love me and think of me as a hero.  

Well, you can feel invincible and you can be in the best shape possible.  Then, an iceberg sinks the unsinkable, the hero gets slayed by the dragon and you are back to square one.  Back to the drawing board.

My last two years at Eastern I began to despise the track.  My Junior year I had issues with the flu that took me out of many key workouts leading up to the spring season.  My Senior year I had a bone bruise on my left knee that took me out of running for about 5 weeks.  I ran poorly because of these two issues and did not achieve my goals.  I felt burned out and was ready to move on to the roads.  I decided that I would take a year away from the track if at all possible to try and possibly recharge my batteries and fall back in love with the sport I once loved so much.

Fast forward a year.  Things have changed.  I had my time away from the track.  It was nice.  No 25 lap extravaganza's for me.  I was happy, I enjoyed it, but something was missing.  I was watching friends and teammates run PR's and stellar times.  Something was itching at me.  I watched the USA Track and Field Championships this past weekend and decided that it was time to return to the rubberized circle of dreams.  

I talked to my coach, Chris Zeller, today and let him know my feelings.  I honestly feel like I have unfinished business to take care of on the track.  I only ran 3:54 for the 1500m, 14:09 for the 5k and 29:44 for the 10k. These are times I know I am better than.  I can run faster, I can be stronger than these times show.  I also feel that my track PR's do not compare to the guys I am competing against in my road races.  Many of them have run under 14 minutes for the 5k.  Many have run well under 29 for the 10k.  I feel that if I am going to be able to compete in the marathon and be able to fight for top places and money I need to lower my track times.  Do not get me wrong.  I still plan on attacking the marathon and qualifying for the Olympic Trials here.  I have decided on the Philadelphia Rock n' Roll Half Marathon as my goal race.  But it is also time to stop being afraid of the track.  Its time to find that fire that I had so often when I ran for Eastern.  It is time to show what I am capable of.

Another thing I have found to be a problem in my running recently is a lack of racing.  In college I had to race so often that I feel I became afraid to race once I graduated.  I honestly feel that racing so often did not allow me to become unfocused.  If I wanted to win or place highly I had to keep focused and keep pushing.  I am not saying I will race every week or every two weeks, but I plan on racing more than three times in six months.  This way, I can keep that edge.  I can keep that focus and I can push myself to reach my goals.  Failure will no longer be an option, because I will not have enough time to think about failure.

Let the new goals help take me to my dreams.