Grandma's Marathon: Disaster and a new outlook

Middle Class Rut- New Low

"To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who's never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind."
Jerome Drayton

To put it simply, this past weekend I reached that agony.  I do not know if I can put into words what exactly happened or how, but all I know is that I had to withdraw at mile 15 due to leg cramps.  I was devastated. To put six long months of training for one race to only drop out at mile 15 is rough.  I just wanted to catch the next plane out of Duluth and never come back.   

The weekend started off right. My flight to Minnesota went by quick and upon arriving I felt great.  I went for my after flight jog and besides the humidity I was feeling pretty damn good.  I drove up to Duluth that night with my friend Jenni Houck (who ran a great race and got a new PR).  The next morning I went running with a couple of people for a shakeout run.  Once again I was feeling really good.  The weather was the perfect temperature and the wind would be at our back for the race.  This was perfection at its best.  Eat your heart out Boston Marathon, Grandma's was going to have even better weather.  Well, not quite.  I woke up race morning to do a little shakeout run and it was pouring down rain and freezing (ok 40 degrees isn't freezing, but when you are expecting 50's its cold).  I ate breakfast and then walked down to where the elites would catch the bus for the race.  

The problem with a point to point course like Grandma's Marathon is that you don't realize how long the course is until you drive for over 30 minutes just to get there.  You get to sit and think about the task at hand.  Not quite what I call fun.  When we got to the start I decided to put the drive out of my mind.  I had one task at hand sub 2:19 for the marathon.  In other words, get my ass to the Olympic Trials in Houston.  I had met a few guys who were all aiming for the same goal so we decided we would run together for as long as we could.  

We had to wait for a few minutes at the start line which did not help my mood.  I had been nursing a sore hamstring since before the 25k Championships, and it was not getting looser by sitting in the cold of the starting line.  Once again, I was trying to put these negative thoughts out of my head and focus on the task at hand.  Finally, the gun went off and it was game time.  To prevent myself from doing anything stupid (like at Bloomsday) I decided to sit a few rows back of the starting line so I would start out slower.  This worked and for once I felt calm for the first mile of a race instead of worrying if I had gone out to hard.  The first mile was a relatively (slow) 5:22.  The goal pace was 5:18 per mile in order to hit the 2:19 standard for the marathon.  However, more people go out too hard and fall apart then go out to easy and finish strong.  I liked where I was at.  A second mile at 5:14 put us back on pace as I had settled in with a group of guys who could talk to each other and focus on the task at hand as well.  Mile 3 proved to be a pain in the ass as the water bottles seemed to be scattered all over the table and I couldn't find mine. I even slowed down to find it, but just kept going and grabbed water from the cups instead.  At the next water station at Mile 5 I was able to find my bottle and GU Pack.  We were a little behind pace but only by a few seconds.  It was a slightly rolling course to this point so I wasn't too concerned.  Plus a lot of guys had made the mistake of going out too fast and were already coming back to the pack I was in.

We came through 10 miles in 53:01.  5:18 pace.  Right where we wanted to be.  I was feeling good.  I was feeling strong.  It was turning out just the way I wanted.  Then it happened.  It really came out of nowhere.  It started with my right hamstring.  A little tightness.  Ok, nothing to worry about, you have had this before and been fine.  Its creeping all over my legs, and my hamstring is getting worse.  I told myself to take five deep breaths, and then refocus.  It helped a little.  But my hamstring was twinging.  Half marathon point, gotta be tough, stay strong, five more deep breaths kid.  I told myself to get to Mile 14 and reevaluate.  I did, it wasn't getting better.  It was getting worse.  I was trying to get back on pace, but each time I tried to pick it up, my leg would cramp worse.  At mile 15 there was a sign for medical and I decided that it was as much as my leg could bear.  Yes, I probably could have gone another 11 miles and finished the race.  The problem would instead be that I would have ran 2:30 for the marathon and probably pulled my hamstring.  

The decision for me was tough.  I had paid a good chunk of money to go to this race.  In return I DNF'd and had leg cramps that I hadn't felt before.  The disappointment of dropping out might have been the worst feeling I have had.  It was not something I pride myself on doing.  Especially not when you head to a race with the goal of qualifying for the Olympic Trials.  I got back to the finish and grabbed my gear.  My friend Chelsea VanDeBrake had just finished so I waited for her.  Her legs were not in much better shape then mine.  The difference?  She finished the race and PR'd.  I walked back with her and her mom and went to my room where I stayed for the next 6 hours.  I wanted nothing to do with anyone on that day.  Talking to people just made me feel more shameful for dropping out.  Answering texts just put more into perspective.  I was shocked.  I was so confident coming to the race that I did not fathom such a thing could happen.  It's what I have decided to call "The Beauty and the bitch" of the marathon.  Sometimes, you just can't win against this race.

Now it is time to decide what is next.  I still have to talk to some people and figure some things out.  I would like to take a stab at the half-marathon and get my PR below the trials qualifier of 1:05 which I honestly feel I am capable of.  Where I will do this I do not know.  I also have to decide if I want to try and race this summer or just train through.  In my personal opinion, part of what went wrong was that I only raced twice before the marathon.  With six months of training and two races prior to this race, I don't think I was ready for it.  It's time for some changes and trying to figure out what works best for me.  Until next time, keep on running!