2011: A year in review and a look ahead to 2012

Knock Knock- Mac Miller

A little bit of my dweeby side coming out, but the song is catchy and the way I look at it, we are knocking on the door of 2012 as I write this.  

2011 was a year of high hopes and expectations and also a year of many changes.  As 2011 began I could wonder was if it would be better than a emotionally draining 2010.  To be honest it was a much better year.  I still had a couple of rough patches, but that is life.

I began by moving back to Spokane to train with my old coach Chris Zeller and my teammates at Eastern Washington.  The team has some real studs and I was hoping that training with them would give me a fresh start on my training that had been slightly screwed up after leaving college.  I would return to Cheney on the eve of the Eagles football team claiming the National Championship.  It was great to be with friends again and I was excited for the year to commence.  Training was going great and I once again felt alive when I was doing workouts.  I felt fresh for the first time in months.  Because of this I set my race schedule in place.  I would race only 3 times before my goal marathon of Grandma's Marathon in June.  Things would go great and mileage would be high until I caught the flu in mid March.  This set me back as I missed a few workouts and upon coming back I would injure a sore hamstring.  I had to take another week off because of this and went into my second race Bloomsday under trained and weary of a sore hamstring.  The race itself was a disaster as I struggled from the get go and never caught a rhythm.  However, the race itself would help me refocus and get ready for the USA 25k Championships a couple of weeks later.  I went to Grand Rapids with hopes to just bounce back and give me some confidence going into Grandma's.  I would be fortunate enough to have my best race since college and finished 11th, less than 30 seconds out of the top 10 after spending most of the race in 16th and in no mans land.  After the race I would meet a key person who would help change my life.  Jennifer Houck is a rising star and complete stud in the women's marathon.  (I am willing to say she has a shot at shocking people here in a couple of weeks at the US Olympic Trials). We became good friends and she helped me out as I was struggling to figure out plans for Grandma's.  Training between the 25k and Grandma's would be sporadic as I had to balance long hours at work with my sharpening phase of my training.  I still put in workouts, but some just sucked.  

I went to Minnesota for the Grandma's Marathon with high hopes.  I had visions of qualifying for the Olympic Trials.  Instead I left with my tail between my legs and my head who knows where (most likely up my ass, but what can you do).  The weekend started off great as I met a guy who I had been in touch with before about a training group, but it hadn't worked out.  Enter, Mike Reneau.  He would run the half marathon that weekend, but I still got to run a little with him, (he is central figure number two in my major life change).  Jennifer would finish as the second American woman and would lower her PR, which I was excited for, but its hard to keep excitement when you drop out of a race.  It was a race I had trained six months for. SIX MONTHS.  I felt completely discouraged dropping out, even though it was a good decision.  I felt my hamstring begin hurting at 12 miles and at the half marathon point I felt a weird sensation, and not a good one.  I tried to push through hoping that it was a small phase, but after two miles it kept getting worse and I dropped out.

I came back to Spokane discouraged.  It was now summer break for my college friends and what better way to recover than to party right?  To be completely fair I had a great time and learned something, but I will get to that in a bit.  I spent a lot of time drinking.  Most nights I wouldn't stop until I had passed out.  I would wake up the next morning, go for a run, go to work and repeat.  Not exactly the healthiest of lifestyles for someone who still wanted to make the Olympic Trials.  I had become the person I had never wanted to see myself become, but it was also an eye opener for me in a sense.  Mid way through what I will probably title: 2011 the Summer of the Binge, I got a message from Jennifer asking how I was doing.  I let her know that running was just something I was doing and that maybe I would try for a fall half marathon.  She asked if she could help and I said if she knew of any sponsors or people on a team that would have me I could use that.  This is where Mike comes in.  He was looking to move back to Minnesota and told me there was a lot of guys to train with there.  I pondered it for awhile.  I also pondered while drinking still.  I decided to ask my parents advice.  They told me that as long as I had a job they would support me in trying to continue to run.  Jennifer helped get me in touch with some local running stores and by Mid September I would hop a plane to Minnesota.  

It has been one of the most drastic changes I have ever made.  It has also been one of the most rewarding changes.  I have met great people here.  I have a great job.  I have someone to train with nearly every day.  Although I did not run as well at the Club Cross Country Championships in Seattle as I would like to have, I still improved on a short training cycle.  My running is continuing to come back into form.  I am happy again.  I miss my college friends and my family, but they are supportive so it makes the transition easy.

I have also made the goal of changing the way I live.  I decided after the marathon to change who I am friends with.  I no longer want to be around people who are negative.  It brings my mood down and it makes living and dreaming no fun.  I have big dreams and goals.  I will chase them for as long as I can.  I can only do this with people who believe in me and support me.  If you are reading this, you are most likely one of those people.  I thank all of you who continue to support me even when things seem like a pile of shit for me.

As for 2012, the dreams are big, but I will achieve them.  I am proud to announce that I will start 2012 right as I signed a contract to be a part of the Brooks ID Elite running program.  It has always been a brand I have loved and trusted and I look forward to representing them well both on and off the track.  I hope you all have a safe and happy New Years and look forward to sharing many great memories with you this upcoming year!

I am still here, I promise!

The Underdog-Kasabian

First off, let me apologize.  It has been some time since I have filled you in on my running dream and my move to the Land of 10,000 lakes.  I am sorry.

When I first moved here I decided to sign up for the USA 10 mile championships.  That showed me exactly where I was in my training.  To sum it up, I got my ass handed to me.  By mile two I was falling off pace and by mile three, I was in no man's land.  I was only able to keep myself going by taking it one mile at a time and even that was a struggle.  My self loathing was embarrassing.  I was finding more ways to drop out of the race or just give up in my efforts than I was finding to drive myself to the finish.  My lowliness in running had dropped just a bit more.  I was mentally weaker than ever.  It was time for a change.

For the last year and a half I had been stuck on the idea that I was a marathoner.  Maybe I am, maybe I am not (just yet).  After talking with two guys who I greatly respect, it was decided I would not chase the marathon.  My coach and I decided that instead of rushing training to get a half marathon in to qualify for the Olympic Trials and then rush the training for the trials, it was best to put my efforts somewhere else.  So for now I will focus on Cross Country and Track.  Under my coach, my training has been the best it has been in two years.  My mental game has slowly pieced itself back together.  Am I where I want to be? Oh heck no.  I have learned to shake off the little things though.  I don't force miles anymore.  In the past I had to run 100+ miles a week in order to prove to myself I was good.  My coach, Mike Reneau, basically instilled in me that I was to an extent, over training. I was running miles but nothing that was truly quality.  Our goal is to run lesser miles (80-90), and instead focus on the quality of workouts and the miles. This brings me to the quote of this blog. -- "If someone says, 'Hey, I ran 100 miles this week.  How far did you run?' ignore him!  What the hell difference does it make?....  The magic is in the man, not the 100 miles."

          - Bill Bowerman

I have had a couple of races recently and felt pretty good in both of them.  The training seems to be working.  Because I am running well in workouts and not feeling as though I am forcing them, I am mentally sharper in races.  I don't try and talk myself out of them, instead I am talking myself into the races.  I tell myself to keep focus and to keep pushing.  I am getting there.  I am making the adjustments.  I am doing the little things.  I am looking forward to racing again, not fearing it.  

Next up is the Turkey Day 5k, a low key 5k on Thanksgiving (duh).  After that is the USATF Club Cross Country Championships in Seattle on December 10th.  For all of my friends in the Northwest I would love to see you there.  I know many of you will be going through finals and such, but if you can make it I would really enjoy your presence!  Until next time, keep running!

So Far, So Awesome

Mumford &Sons-The Cave

So far Minnesota rocks.  Lets just get that out of the way right now.  It has only been a couple of days, but I am really happy with my decision.  One thing about running is that you need to surround yourself with people who are positive, people who share the same passion that you do.  Running is a daunting task.  It is tough when the clouds are out and the wind is howling.  It is not easy to go out when it looks like you will end the run soaked to the bone.  However, this task becomes easier when you are asked to run at 7 in the morning.  When you know you have a couple of guys waiting for you, you somehow find the guts to get up and get out the door.  That being said, sometimes its hard to run with other people.  As guys, sometimes we like to compare, lets search for the politically correct term here, egos.  One guy decides he is going to show that he has the strength and an easy 10 mile run turns into a 10 mile race.  Out here, it has not been that way.  Guys have been welcoming on runs.  Nobody tries to kill each other because we all know we are working towards the same task.  We are all chasing our dreams.  Its easy to try and race one another, but it is easier to help one another.  

Some people have asked why I have made this move.  Some have asked why I am chasing this "silly dream." The easy way to describe it is; if I don't do it now, I will never be able to forgive myself.  Yes, maybe this is a silly dream, maybe I am dodging the "real world." To be honest though, I would rather dodge it and be happy then go right into the world and be miserable.  I see too many people today who are unhappy with their lives, who are unhappy that they didn't try something they wanted to when they were younger.  Not enough people are willing to take risks.  Runner's tend to be risk takers.  We have to be to reach our goals.  I think those who are willing to question our motives are the ones who are too afraid to chase their own dreams, and thus take it out on someone who wants to live their life.  Am I sitting behind a desk teaching the future? No.  Am I still contributing to society? I think so.  I sell shoes.  I try and promote fitness.  Whether it be a casual walker, the mom who is trying to get in shape, the guy who is going through divorce or the elite runner, I want to try and help all reach their goals.  I can pay rent and can afford food.  I am happy and content with my life choices to this point.  Maybe I will one day reach my goals, maybe I won't, but at least I when my running career comes to an end, I can say that I at least tried.

From the Northwest to the Midwest...Sorry for the delay

Kid Cudi-Do It Alone

Sorry it has been so long since the last blog.  I am also sorry to anyone who is just finding out that I have moved to Minnesota.  Yep.  You read that right.  Minnesota.  I have been toying for awhile now with the idea of relocating.  Sometimes as a runner you need a little change of scenery to make running fun again, to get that competitive edge back.  

After the disappointment at Grandma's Marathon, I took some time off.  For one, I needed to heal.  Both mentally and physically I was destroyed by the race.  I put six months of training into this race and got nothing out of it, except a strained hamstring.  But that can be the story of running.  It really comes down to how you bounce back from the bad.  I bounced back in mileage, but I was fearful of workouts.  I didn't want to re-injure myself.  I was lacking confidence once again.  I needed something different.  I had great friends in Spokane, but I needed a new spark.  I made a comment to a couple of friends, and next thing I know I am looking at places to work and live in Minnesota.  I didn't know I would be here this soon, I knew I wanted to be, but I also wanted to be settled.

I will, once again, work at a running store.  This time it will be at Start Line in Minnetonka.  Its going to be a nice transition, although this is the busy time of year with the Twin Cities Marathon coming up in a couple of weeks.  I plan on running the Twin Cities 10 miler that same weekend which is the US 10 mile championships.  Hopefully this will springboard me to an October or November half marathon.  For now though its time to get settled down.  Start figuring out living here in Minnesota.  It will be different for awhile and I apologize if I am not answering messages right away.  I will not forget those who helped get me this far, because without them I wouldn't be here.  Thank you to everyone who made Spokane great.  I miss you already, but its time for new beginnings.

Time to refocus...

Eminem- Cinderella Man

When you are young you feel invincible.  You can predict the future, you know exactly how you are going to do in whatever it is you choose.  This is how I felt going into the Grandma's Marathon.  I was going to run somewhere in the ballpark of 2:16 and I was going to qualify for the Olympic Trials and I was going to be something special.  People were going to love me and think of me as a hero.  

Well, you can feel invincible and you can be in the best shape possible.  Then, an iceberg sinks the unsinkable, the hero gets slayed by the dragon and you are back to square one.  Back to the drawing board.

My last two years at Eastern I began to despise the track.  My Junior year I had issues with the flu that took me out of many key workouts leading up to the spring season.  My Senior year I had a bone bruise on my left knee that took me out of running for about 5 weeks.  I ran poorly because of these two issues and did not achieve my goals.  I felt burned out and was ready to move on to the roads.  I decided that I would take a year away from the track if at all possible to try and possibly recharge my batteries and fall back in love with the sport I once loved so much.

Fast forward a year.  Things have changed.  I had my time away from the track.  It was nice.  No 25 lap extravaganza's for me.  I was happy, I enjoyed it, but something was missing.  I was watching friends and teammates run PR's and stellar times.  Something was itching at me.  I watched the USA Track and Field Championships this past weekend and decided that it was time to return to the rubberized circle of dreams.  

I talked to my coach, Chris Zeller, today and let him know my feelings.  I honestly feel like I have unfinished business to take care of on the track.  I only ran 3:54 for the 1500m, 14:09 for the 5k and 29:44 for the 10k. These are times I know I am better than.  I can run faster, I can be stronger than these times show.  I also feel that my track PR's do not compare to the guys I am competing against in my road races.  Many of them have run under 14 minutes for the 5k.  Many have run well under 29 for the 10k.  I feel that if I am going to be able to compete in the marathon and be able to fight for top places and money I need to lower my track times.  Do not get me wrong.  I still plan on attacking the marathon and qualifying for the Olympic Trials here.  I have decided on the Philadelphia Rock n' Roll Half Marathon as my goal race.  But it is also time to stop being afraid of the track.  Its time to find that fire that I had so often when I ran for Eastern.  It is time to show what I am capable of.

Another thing I have found to be a problem in my running recently is a lack of racing.  In college I had to race so often that I feel I became afraid to race once I graduated.  I honestly feel that racing so often did not allow me to become unfocused.  If I wanted to win or place highly I had to keep focused and keep pushing.  I am not saying I will race every week or every two weeks, but I plan on racing more than three times in six months.  This way, I can keep that edge.  I can keep that focus and I can push myself to reach my goals.  Failure will no longer be an option, because I will not have enough time to think about failure.

Let the new goals help take me to my dreams.

Grandma's Marathon: Disaster and a new outlook

Middle Class Rut- New Low

"To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who's never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind."
Jerome Drayton

To put it simply, this past weekend I reached that agony.  I do not know if I can put into words what exactly happened or how, but all I know is that I had to withdraw at mile 15 due to leg cramps.  I was devastated. To put six long months of training for one race to only drop out at mile 15 is rough.  I just wanted to catch the next plane out of Duluth and never come back.   

The weekend started off right. My flight to Minnesota went by quick and upon arriving I felt great.  I went for my after flight jog and besides the humidity I was feeling pretty damn good.  I drove up to Duluth that night with my friend Jenni Houck (who ran a great race and got a new PR).  The next morning I went running with a couple of people for a shakeout run.  Once again I was feeling really good.  The weather was the perfect temperature and the wind would be at our back for the race.  This was perfection at its best.  Eat your heart out Boston Marathon, Grandma's was going to have even better weather.  Well, not quite.  I woke up race morning to do a little shakeout run and it was pouring down rain and freezing (ok 40 degrees isn't freezing, but when you are expecting 50's its cold).  I ate breakfast and then walked down to where the elites would catch the bus for the race.  

The problem with a point to point course like Grandma's Marathon is that you don't realize how long the course is until you drive for over 30 minutes just to get there.  You get to sit and think about the task at hand.  Not quite what I call fun.  When we got to the start I decided to put the drive out of my mind.  I had one task at hand sub 2:19 for the marathon.  In other words, get my ass to the Olympic Trials in Houston.  I had met a few guys who were all aiming for the same goal so we decided we would run together for as long as we could.  

We had to wait for a few minutes at the start line which did not help my mood.  I had been nursing a sore hamstring since before the 25k Championships, and it was not getting looser by sitting in the cold of the starting line.  Once again, I was trying to put these negative thoughts out of my head and focus on the task at hand.  Finally, the gun went off and it was game time.  To prevent myself from doing anything stupid (like at Bloomsday) I decided to sit a few rows back of the starting line so I would start out slower.  This worked and for once I felt calm for the first mile of a race instead of worrying if I had gone out to hard.  The first mile was a relatively (slow) 5:22.  The goal pace was 5:18 per mile in order to hit the 2:19 standard for the marathon.  However, more people go out too hard and fall apart then go out to easy and finish strong.  I liked where I was at.  A second mile at 5:14 put us back on pace as I had settled in with a group of guys who could talk to each other and focus on the task at hand as well.  Mile 3 proved to be a pain in the ass as the water bottles seemed to be scattered all over the table and I couldn't find mine. I even slowed down to find it, but just kept going and grabbed water from the cups instead.  At the next water station at Mile 5 I was able to find my bottle and GU Pack.  We were a little behind pace but only by a few seconds.  It was a slightly rolling course to this point so I wasn't too concerned.  Plus a lot of guys had made the mistake of going out too fast and were already coming back to the pack I was in.

We came through 10 miles in 53:01.  5:18 pace.  Right where we wanted to be.  I was feeling good.  I was feeling strong.  It was turning out just the way I wanted.  Then it happened.  It really came out of nowhere.  It started with my right hamstring.  A little tightness.  Ok, nothing to worry about, you have had this before and been fine.  Its creeping all over my legs, and my hamstring is getting worse.  I told myself to take five deep breaths, and then refocus.  It helped a little.  But my hamstring was twinging.  Half marathon point, gotta be tough, stay strong, five more deep breaths kid.  I told myself to get to Mile 14 and reevaluate.  I did, it wasn't getting better.  It was getting worse.  I was trying to get back on pace, but each time I tried to pick it up, my leg would cramp worse.  At mile 15 there was a sign for medical and I decided that it was as much as my leg could bear.  Yes, I probably could have gone another 11 miles and finished the race.  The problem would instead be that I would have ran 2:30 for the marathon and probably pulled my hamstring.  

The decision for me was tough.  I had paid a good chunk of money to go to this race.  In return I DNF'd and had leg cramps that I hadn't felt before.  The disappointment of dropping out might have been the worst feeling I have had.  It was not something I pride myself on doing.  Especially not when you head to a race with the goal of qualifying for the Olympic Trials.  I got back to the finish and grabbed my gear.  My friend Chelsea VanDeBrake had just finished so I waited for her.  Her legs were not in much better shape then mine.  The difference?  She finished the race and PR'd.  I walked back with her and her mom and went to my room where I stayed for the next 6 hours.  I wanted nothing to do with anyone on that day.  Talking to people just made me feel more shameful for dropping out.  Answering texts just put more into perspective.  I was shocked.  I was so confident coming to the race that I did not fathom such a thing could happen.  It's what I have decided to call "The Beauty and the bitch" of the marathon.  Sometimes, you just can't win against this race.

Now it is time to decide what is next.  I still have to talk to some people and figure some things out.  I would like to take a stab at the half-marathon and get my PR below the trials qualifier of 1:05 which I honestly feel I am capable of.  Where I will do this I do not know.  I also have to decide if I want to try and race this summer or just train through.  In my personal opinion, part of what went wrong was that I only raced twice before the marathon.  With six months of training and two races prior to this race, I don't think I was ready for it.  It's time for some changes and trying to figure out what works best for me.  Until next time, keep on running!

One Week...Can you feel the antcipation building?

The Offspring-Come Out and Play

Well friends I am one short week away from the marathon.  The training has been great and I feel more confident than I have in a long long time.  I have done a couple of workouts that have made me feel as though this is going to be a much different race than when I ran 8 months ago.  I had a little scare with a tight hamstring earlier this week, but that is now a distant memory.  My taper is going well and I am feeling it start to kick in.  My 9 mile run this morning felt like a walk in the park.  I can feel it in my step that I am ready to go.  This is my time.  2:19 for the marathon is what I need to run.  A solid 5:18 per mile.  Do that and I will have accomplished a goal that I never could have dreamed of 10 years ago when I began my journey as a runner.  I have come a long way since Paul Limpf the hockey player.  I am now Paul Limpf the runner, and if things go right, I soon will be Paul Limpf, Olympic Trials Qualifier.  Its incredible how things can change.  Growing up all I wanted to do was play hockey, now all I think about is running.

I have had a lot of time to think this past week on my runs and just time to myself.  This journey has had its ups and its downs.  It has had twists and turns.  In one week, my running world can change forever.  The beauty of running is that until you step on the line and go, you never know what will happen.  I have been to races  and been beaten badly, and I have gone to races and made people ask "who is that guy?"  I like the latter.  Its kind of exciting to be an unknown.  You don't have the pressure.  You don't have the interviews to deal with.  You go to the race and you do just that, you race.  Next Saturday is going to be a great day to race. 

I leave Thursday morning from Spokane and head on a direct flight to Minneapolis.  From there I will drive with my good friend Jennifer Houck and head to Duluth, home of Grandma's Marathon.  Friday will be a day of preperation and just calmly waiting for the race.  Saturday morning at 7:30 am Central time.  Or for most of you that will be reading this 5:30 AM Pacific Time. 

I hope to make you all proud.

Paul

Grandma's Marathon preperation...its go time.

Bloc Party-Flux

I will start you off with one of my favorite songs to listen to before I go to workout or even just go for a run.  Bloc Party is pretty chill and their music is in my opinion quite rad.  Not much has happened in the weeks since the 25k.  I have been training and working which has basically become my lifestyle.  I had back to back weeks of 100 miles (100, 105) and this past week hit 90.  It was the first time in over a year that I was able to hit 100 miles in back to back weeks.  This is not a huge accomplishment considering I was able to string together about 6-8 weeks of 100 mile weeks back in college, but it is a sign of my return.  The confidence is still high and my strength gets better each day.  I have had a bad run or two during the last couple of weeks, but the next day I bounced right back.  

Grandma's Marathon is less than two weeks away now and the anticipation is starting to build.  I am more excited for this marathon than I was my last.  I have a much better support crew with me this time and for the last two months I have actually had a training partner, something I did not have while living in Seattle prior to my race.  I am looking forward to getting some redemption from the last time, but I know it will take a smart race in order to accomplish my goal of a sub 2:19 marathon.  I will leave you with a quote from one of the all time greats: "We are different, in essence from other men.  If you want to win something, run 100 meters.  If you want to experience something, run a marathon."  -Emil Zatopek, A Czech runner, and winner of 4 gold medals.

Good Luck with all of your running.  If you have any questions about my training or anything else feel free to ask.

A different take on running

Linkin Park-Frgt/10

"From the top to the bottom, bottom to top I stop."  A repeated verse in the above song and recently I have found this lyric to be so very true.  On my 8 mile run this morning with good friend Cody Barton, I realized (after he nicely pointed it out to me) how quickly things can change.  Two years ago I was in my prime.  I set the course record at the Sundodger Invitational, coming from 50 meters down in the last 1k.  I took 6th in the top flight of the prestigious Notre Dame Invite.  I won my third consecutive All-Big Sky Conference award (a feat that has never been done by another Eastern Washington runner).   I took 11th at the West Regional meet against some of the best runners in the nation and finished up with a 73rd place finish at the NCAA division 1 championships.  That spring I went on to break the school record in the 10k (since broken by Kyle King).  In the fall I competed in my first half-marathon while red-shirting where I debuted in a 1:05:52.  If the time wasn't enough I won the race over runners like Ben Bruce and Mike Sayenko.  These two are national caliber runners and recently Sayenko was nominated to the US team for the World Championships this summer.  I felt unstoppable.  The running world would soon know who I was and I would be making a name for myself.

But oh how quickly things can change...

On a training run over winter break I waited all day to go for my run, I went out and was in the last mile of a progression run and decided I wanted to finish up and not add on three miles to get back to my grandma's house.  The problem was, the shorter distance was over a trail, and it was dark outside.  I was having a great workout and then it happened. I hit a tree root.  I took a nice fall but got up quickly (trying in my mind to repeat the Lasse Viren comeback in the '72 10k.)  It was not until I got to my grandma's that I realized the damage.  My knee was gouged deep and my hands were cut up.  There was some aches and pains but it was all better, or so I thought.  I returned to Eastern for winter training.  On my first run back I took a spill twisting the knee I had gouged and landed on so hard.  I got up and finished my run.  I thought I was fine, but two days later I was getting an MRI on my knee after I couldn't make it a 1/2 mile on a run and my knee locked up.  I had a bone bruise which set me out for 6 weeks.  This put a wrench into my plan to break 29 minutes for the 10k and 14 minutes for the 5k.  Cue the beginning of the fall of my confidence.  I was able to battle back and run two meets during the indoor season, but I ended that when I injured my back (again) at the conference meet.  Once again, my confidence, my pride, my gaining momentum from the year before had come crashing down all in a couple of swings.  I was able to make it through the outdoor season alright, but I lacked my confidence, my swagger if you will.  I was now ready to take some time off and get ready for the marathon.

I came to Seattle with a head full of steam.  I was ready to get myself back on track.  Nothing would help more than getting the Olympic Trials qualifier right?  Well, shit happens and your plans all come to a crashing halt again.  Within a month of moving to Seattle I was ready to leave.  I was already arguing and disagreeing with my coach (which ask any other coach I have had, I don't complain I just do the work).  My abilities and my desire to run were being questioned which fucks with a persons confidence, especially when they are already at a status of negative.  I stuck with it after talking with my dad who tends to tell me to just nut up and do it anyways.  Things again took a turn for the worse when I found out that my Grandma Limpf (from Ohio) was in the hospital and not expected to make it.  I love my family more than anything and this was a huge slap in the face with reality.  She would be the fourth family member I would have pass away since my freshmen year of high school.  

The fall season was tough and did not merit any confidence building races.  I fell apart in the last 6 miles of the Twin Cities Marathon and missed the Olympic Trials qualifier.  I had a rough go during the cross country races for my club team, Club Northwest.  I was at an all time low confidence wise.  I needed to make a decision, carry on and hope for better days, or let it go and move on with life.  I am too much a competitor and always have been, so I decided to pack my bags and move back to Cheney to get some familiar training. Things started off great.  I was getting in the miles and feeling confident again.  And then I got the flu and was out for four days.  I shook that off and came back again, only to injure my Achilles Tendon three weeks before Bloomsday.  Once again, I was ready to say screw it and quit.  Once again, my dad being the wise bald man that he is, talked me out of it.  I ran Bloomsday, but it was ugly.  I had only run sparingly since my Achilles flare up and I was lucky enough to work 20 hours the two days before Bloomsday (working for Runner's Soul).  Still upset, I set my sights on the US 25k Championships (read previous blog for details).

I ran the race and came out with a new confidence.  It reminds me of what I felt like just two short years ago during my great cross country season.  I smile again, I bounce off the walls with excitement. I am no longer the shadow of my former self.  The night after the US 25k championships my teammate and friend Ruth Perkins (who I owe dearly for helping calm me down prior to the race) told me that she noticed a difference.  She had met me at the Twin Cities Marathon and since then we have raced together often.  (She qualified for the Olympic Trials at Twin Cities, and by the way, she is 30 and a mother of two).  She said she had never seen me with a smile on my face after a run, a look of excitement that most haven't seen in two years.  This morning Cody told me that the exciting thing is that I have shown perseverance through it all.  I could have given up but something kept pulling me back.  The story is not over and probably will not be for a long time.  As Cody put it so simply this morning, "You are like a Phoenix who has come back risen from the ashes."  So from the top to bottom I went, but now I wont stop until I am at the top.

US 25k Championships!

It is finally an "Almost Familiar" feeling.  The wait is over.  I have finally come back.  After what has seemed to be an eternity I am finally back to my old self.  No longer do I have to sit back after a race and wonder what could have been.  I will leave Grand Rapids today with a sense of achievement.  I ran hard yesterday at the 5/3 Riverbank Run and I finished 11th overall.  It is my best finish in a US championship race.

I woke up in the morning feeling confident.  I knew I was going to run a great race.  I went for a good shakeout with my friend Drew Polley which got me feeling ready to race.  It was a nice morning with some light showers, perfect for running.  After a quick shake out we came back and had some breakfast.  Sitting in my room alone I was getting nervous, but excited at the same time. 

Prior to the race I was getting ready and had to use the restroom, as I walked up and opened the door to use the port-a-potty an older lady walked in front of me and asked me to close the door.  (This story will have more relevance later) It was just a few minutes before the race started and I had to rush to get to the start and dropped my bag.  I didn't know where elites were supposed to leave their gear, so I tossed it by the start.

I walked to the start and waited for the command to go.  The gun went off and I latched on to a pack that I felt would be my best bet for a good race.  The problem was we went out in a 4:50.  My goal for the weekend was to go 5:08-5:12 pace.  This was a bit overwhelming, but I told myself that it was likely to happen and that I just had to go with the flow.  Our second mile was right at 5 minutes which made me feel a little more comfortable in the pack.  At around mile 3 or 4 I was just feeling as though the pace was picking up a little too much for me and I settled back, while my pack pulled away.  I stayed around the low 5's until midway through the race.  On the back half of the course there were some headwinds that slowed my pace to just a little over 5:10's.  I had been all alone in no mans land for nearly 7 miles by time I caught one of the runner's who had gone out a little fast.  I was feeling more confident even though my legs were not feeling that confident.  I saw the pack ahead and was told I was in 12th place with 3 miles to go.  I started pushing the pace and trying to play catch up.  My goal each mile was to close the gap just a little more.  At mile 14 I had Drew back in my sights.  I decided to go after him, but each time I put a surge to catch him, he seemed to pull away from me.  It was demoralizing.  Here I was giving my best effort and I couldn't catch him.  The mile 15 marker came and I tried one last surge.  I was catching him with each step, but did I didn't know if I had enough distance to get him.  With about 300 meters to go there is a small uphill to the finish and I caught Drew on this uphill.  I put in a surge and was trying to fight him off.  I came across the line in 1:20:07, good enough for 11th place.

Finally, after months of pain and frustration, after a few times I felt like I was ready to quit and give up a sport I have loved so much, I finally had the race I had been looking for.  I wanted to be top 10 at this race, but I gave what I had.  I pushed myself to catch Drew and some others and put myself in a spot where I could have a great race.  It has been a roller coaster ride to this point, but things are beginning to look up.  I have Grandma's Marathon in just about a month and that will be my next opportunity to qualify for the Olympic Trials.  With my renewed confidence I have no doubt that I will run faster than the standard of 2:19 for the Marathon and will have yet another great race.

Welcome to Grand Rapids!!!

I will start you off with one of my new favorite songs.  Its probably not new to some people but I just started listening to it earlier this week while flipping around my itunes.  I love this song because 1. its called Here We Go, which is a great name for a song prior to a race and 2. I love how it picks up slowly until around 65 seconds into the song and then it starts picking up hard.

After a long day of travel and moving ahead three time zones I got into Grand Rapids last night around 10:30.  The trip went pretty well, a little shaky on the flight from Denver to Grand Rapids, but I am pretty accustomed to it now.  The hotel I am staying at is possibly the nicest hotel I have ever stayed at.  My room has a view of the river which is absolutely beautiful.  Temperatures are near perfect, but the humidity may be the one caution I have for tomorrow.

Today I was able to go to lunch with my grandpa and my Aunt Michelle.  I have not seen my aunt in nearly 10 years and at first did not recognize her, which was quite embarrassing.  It was nice to talk to both of them, but at the same time very hard.  It has been nearly 9 months since my grandma has passed away, but the pain still shows and wears on us all.  We all know we have each other, but a key aspect in all of our lives is missing.  I am glad I got to see them today and tomorrow I get to see my Aunt Jennifer and my cousins which will be nice.  I have always liked being able to race out this way because of the opportunity it gives me to see my family.

As for the race itself.  It looks to be a good one, they are figuring it to be one of the deeper fields in the last few years which will make it tough.  I am ready though.  I have confidence that I have lacked for what seems has been forever.  Workouts have been good and my runs have been solid.  I look forward to surprising people tomorrow morning and putting my name on some peoples watch list.  For those of you looking to possibly get up early and watch the race it will be broadcast live at: www.USARunningCircuit.com.  
Hopefully I can be up in the competition to make it worth any of you getting up early.

On a last note I would just like to say good luck to all of my friends competing in the various conference championships this weekend!

Reviews and Previews: Bloomsday and the USA 25k Championships

It is weird to think that just one week ago I ran Bloomsday.  It was my first one and I had high expectations going into the race.  Unfortunately, I suffered an Achilles flare up a couple of weeks before and I could not get the workouts that I wanted in before the race.  In fact, two weeks before the race I only ran 32 miles.  For those of you who know me well enough that is typically my mileage for two days, not a whole week.  Sadly, that is the nature of this game, you can train for months at a time for one or two goal races and have it all fall apart with one little ache and pain.

The week of Bloomsday is always hectic at my job.  I work at Spokane's only running store, Runner's Soul.  The week was as usual and Friday and Saturday were pure hell.  I worked 20 hours in two days.  Most of those hours are spent on your feet, which is not ideal for running a race on Sunday.

I went into Sunday with no goal in mind.  To me everything had fallen apart with my injury, and add on top all the work and lack of food the two days before and I had absolutely no motivation.  I still wanted to run well, but the fire that I had just a couple of weeks earlier was not quite there.  I went out hard, in fact I went out too hard and was next to the leaders.  When I realized that nobody I knew was around me, I decided to get off the pace and settle into my own.  I didn't catch my mile split, but at two miles I was at 9:46, which is also the time I ran for the 3200 my sophomore year of high school, and I still had 5.46 miles to go.  At this point things began to get tough for me.  For the last 3-4 years I have suffered random back spasms.  They always creep up at the right time, and by right time, I mean nowhere near the right time.  By mile 3 my back was in extreme pain.  I was trying to push through it, but it was hurting too much.  I was hunched over and trying to run in a more comfortable position, but that did not work either.  I got to the famed Doomsday Hill and was as one of my friends estimated, in the 50th place range.  I am typically a hill runner and consider myself pretty dominant when it comes to uphill running.  Doomsday was apparently the hill that might have changed that image as it felt like I was crawling.  Shortly after the top of the hill I saw my coach and friend Chris Zeller.  He told me that the hard part was over and just to get to Broadway.  I felt a revival coming on.  Here the course flattens out and truthfully, it might even be slightly downhill the rest of the way.  I started to get my eyes up and focusing on each guy ahead of me.  I started picking guys off and ended up in 33rd with a time of 38:22.  It was truly disappointing, but at the same time it was a good learning experience.

Now my focus is on the USA 25k Championships this Saturday in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  I have had a couple of solid workouts that have given me a tremendous confidence boost and I look forward to going over and running a solid race to get me ready for my marathon in June.  This will be quite the bitter sweet race no matter how I run.  It has been nearly a year since my Grandma Limpf passed away and it will be the first time returning "home" since it happened.  Although most of my family will be there, it will be hard not to see her at the finish.  That being said, I have a long run with the boys here shortly.  Gotta get it going.