USA Half Marathon Championships

Macklemore- Make the Money

At this point, you may have seen the results.  After three years I finally got the Half Marathon PR I had been looking for.  Sometimes it doesn't quite hit you. I still am not sure it has.  About a month ago I had a serious sit down with myself about my running.  Was it time to let the dream go?  Or would I give myself a couple of years to possibly see my dreams come true?  I came to the tough decision that if I didn't start looking like a potential Olympic Trials qualifier for 2016, then it was time to hang up the racing flats and begin the grown up life style.  And then Bloomsday happened. The race itself was a little surreal.  I wanted to run well compared to the last two years, but then again, anything would be better than the last two.  I went to the starting line just wanting to have fun on the day.  By mile 2, I was racing, but it was different. Something I hadn't felt in all honesty since college, it was relaxed, it was easy, and wait for it, it was FUN!  My mentality that had been my Achilles heel, was slipping away and I was going back to my roots.  The happy go lucky racer of my "youth."  As the miles went by I started moving by people.  And lots of good runners.  Totally opposite of my previous Bloomsdays where I was going backwards, not forwards.  I was getting into the race and totally enjoying myself.  When I would pass people that knew me and were cheering for me, I would wave or give a fist pump. Just being relaxed made it that much better.  As I turned the final corner onto the famed finish on the Monroe Street Bridge and the cheers got louder, a wave of emotions hit.  I felt I had begun to turn a corner.  I know I have said this before, only to be disappointed later, but this was different.  This was an effortless moment.  Ok, yes there was effort involved, but not the entirely spent feeling of previous races.  As I high fived my boss Curt as I passed the finish a huge smile came across my face and a huge weight off my shoulders.  I think it was the biggest smile I have seen Curt have in my time of knowing him as well.  He knows how much I love Bloomsday and Spokane and how badly I want to race well in front of my "hometown crowd."  

This new sense of relaxed effort had me feeling good leading into the Half Marathon Championships.  But at the same time, the nerves were still there.  Remember, I had great races only to follow up with poor ones.  But at the same time I have been working with Eastern Washington's Sport Psychologist Jon Hammermeister and getting some tips on how to relax.  That being said, I was getting excited by not overly excited for the race.  Keep calm and relaxed I told myself repeatedly during my runs and workouts.  As the days neared I tried to keep my emotions in check, but its hard when faulty racing had been a frequent over the past couple of years.  My last two workouts leading into Duluth were not impressive.  In fact, they were down right miserable. I had to cut short one workout and the next was just a pure struggle.  When I got on the plane to Minnesota, I told myself to leave these workouts behind in Spokane.  They were not going to travel with me.  

I got to Minnesota and my buddy Nick Ross and I drove up together from Minneapolis.  The nice thing about having Nick around is that he is easy going and always has a good joke.  He kept me from over thinking my race, even though he was racing himself.  When we got to Duluth, time seemed to stand still in the anticipation of the race.  I kept trying to not run the race repeatedly in my head before it happened, but nerves are nerves and sometimes you just have to let them go.  Finally race day came.  A beautiful wake up call at 3am Central time was not preferred, but it is what needed to happen with the early start of the race.  On the Elite bus to the starting line, I was trying to keep calm and relaxed, but it still was tough.  13.1 miles is a daunting task no matter who you are and especially with the great field that was assembled for this race.  During the warm up I was just shaking my nerves out.  I needed to if I was going to survive the race.  I warmed up with my friend Drew Polley and his teammates at the Brooks-Hansons ODP. We all tried to crack some jokes and keep our minds off the task at hand.  It really did help having them around as I knew most of them and what they were trying to run as well.

Finally race time was here.  The starting horn went off and over 100 of the countries top half marathoners were on their way along the beautiful shoreline of Lake Superior.  It was a chilly and misty day, which is my type of race weather.  I used a similar strategy to Bloomsday, go out calm and relaxed and pick people off as the race unfolded.  The first 5k was right on pace, 15:20.  I was in the perfect pack with the Hansons guys and we were taking turns leading and keeping the pace on track.  However, miles 4 and 5 felt slow and knowing my finish is not always the best I decided to pick it up.  Nobody really went with me and soon I had a little lead over my former group.  I got everything back on track and through 10k was at 30:50, perfect.  I was feeling good. I was feeling relaxed. I was feeling like I was going to PR.  My legs started feeling the so-called gorilla on the back at mile 8, but I kept telling myself to keep strong.  Just prior to mile 9 at what is known as Lemon Drop hill, the Hansons guys came back and passed me.  This was time to make the decision that could make or break my race.  If I let them go, then I potentially let go of the sub 65 minute Half Marathon I set out for and potentially missing my PR.  If I went with the guys then I knew I could hold myself together.  For a few short steps I fell off.  I was screaming at myself, I had to go with them.  I told myself to do it one mile at a time.  That would make it easier on the mind.  Quickly, I was back with the group and back on pace.  At 10 miles I set a new PR of 49:33, or 72 seconds faster than my previous 10 mile PR, and that race was only 10 miles!

At this point I was ecstatic.  I knew that I really had an opportunity to break 65 and wash away all the doubts I had about my running.  I kept pushing with the guys down the streets of Duluth.  We kept taking turns leading, at this point we were helping each other, but at the same time it was every man for himself.  We got to the 12 mile mark and I took off with everything I had.  1.1 miles of pain for what would be a huge PR and a huge relief.  The winding last mile is tough on the mind as you constantly are looking at the finish, even though you are still a bit away from it.  I kept pushing and telling myself I was almost there.  The simple mind games you can play to keep yourself from breaking.  As I came off the last corner and saw the finish line I gave everything I had left.  As I closed on the finish, the joy and relief had to show.  I looked up and there it was 64:45. A new PR.  It is unfortunate that the window for trying to qualify for the Olympic Trials is not yet open, as that would be the "B" standard to qualify.  However, now that I have done it, I know I can do it again.  

I am so thankful for the opportunity that I was given this weekend. I was glad to see great friends and to see so many of them run great races was just the icing on the cake.  I hope to keep this momentum riding into my future races and keep on living the dream.  As far as my potential "retirement," that is over.  2016 will not be the end.  I was fortunate enough to talk to 2x Olympian Meb Keflezighi after my race.  For those wondering, he is the nicest guy on earth.  Anyways, he told me to keep living my dream out.  He had faced many injuries and battles in his life, but his perseverance allowed him to make the 2012 Olympic team and finish 4th.  That inspiration has helped me realize that good days will come if you stick it out.  That being said, I have just a couple more hours here in Minnesota and I going to go enjoy it.  Until next time, just keep on running happy!

2012 My Year in Review and a look ahead to 2013

My Adidas- Run DMC

2012 started off right. I had just earned a contract with the Brooks ID program. I was ecstatic as Brooks has always been a brand I supported and wore pretty faithfully. I was excited for the year after a pretty dismal 2011 of racing.  Plus, I was in a new environment which I felt was perfect to get me back on the right track (yea, no pun intended).  Although that was a positive, 2012 would be a roller coaster ride of a year and the song above should give you a hint as to what is coming later in this story.

My first race of 2012 would be an indoor mile at the University of Minnesota.  For those of you who didn't pay any attention (which, in all honesty I don't blame you) was where I was living at the time.  It was the Jack Johnson classic and since I hadn't raced in forever on the track I put myself into the second heat.  It was a tight 200 meter flat track and I found myself getting boxed in, bounced around and cut off what seemed like the whole race.  I finished and was more pissed about the numerous times being cut off than anything.  I was already gearing up for the next race.  I would again race an indoor mile a couple of weeks later, again at the University of Minnesota.  This time things went terribly and at 800 meters I found myself running in quicksand, my body falling apart and finishing worse than I had a couple of weeks before.  I have no idea quite what went wrong, but I know that it could have been something I ate, mostly due to the fact that a frat house just outside the indoor facility found me barfing up lunch on its yard.  My buddy Mike Reneau sat there, laughing in disgust as it was a Saturday night and most people driving by probably thought I was already hitting up the bars.

With the indoor season out of the way I shifted my focus to the outdoor season where my goal was to race at the Mt. SAC Relays 10k with the goal of getting the Olympic Trials qualifying time.  I was going to run a few road races just to keep mentally sharp along the way, but the 10k was the most important thing on my mind.  My big breakout came at the Shamrock Shuffle in Chicago.  It was an 8k road race that attracted many of the Midwest's top club teams and individuals.  I would take 25th overall in a time of 24:23, my best performance in a long time.  I left that day feeling like I going in the right direction for that 10k.  However, just two weeks later, my nightmare running would come back.  I was running a tune up 5k at Hamline University in St. Paul when just past two miles my knee locked up.  It was the same sensation I had a couple of years before when I found out I had a bone bruise during my 5th year of college.  I pulled out of the race before I did any further damage.  The next couple of days saw me run very little to no miles.  This with a big race looming.  I talked to Mike and we decided to cut the track season.  I could still run some races, but at this point it would be difficult for me to get any quality track in before the Trials.  

Tail between the legs I set my sights on trying to run well at the place I hold dear to my heart, Spokane.  My goal was to now redeem myself at the Bloomsday race in early May.  I have loved Bloomsday since I started helping out at it during college.  I was also excited to take a mini vacation and see all of my friends back in Spokane.  In tuning up I paced local college kids in the Twin Cities area to a 10k (I only went 6k).  The pacing was perfect for what I wanted to achieve at Bloomsday.  However, I also found myself sluggish on many runs. Looking back at my training logs I would have 1 good day for every two to three bad days. Not a good ratio in my opinion.

I went to Bloomsday with a false bravado. A fake confidence. A general case of puss-itis. I talked as if I was ready, but on the inside I was feeling like my running career (if you could call it that) was about to end.  I really was struggling to find anything positive anymore and after the race, it was nil.  Bloomsday morning came.  I went to the starting line with friends Josh Moen and Mike Reneau.  We warmed up and I felt pretty solid to be honest.  The problem was, as soon as I saw everyone at the starting line I swallowed a big gulp of fear and my race plans went to hell in a hand basket.  I started out with the leaders and quickly felt flimsy and flat. My fears had gotten to me, the false bravado was repeatedly kicking me in the junk and I was going out the back door quickly.  Every runners nightmare is to see everyone in the world passing them including their grandmother who uses a walker.  I was beginning to live this nightmare.  At mile 3 my body shut down.  I don't know how to explain what happened as I have tried to block that memory out of my system, but my body just stopped. I pulled to the side of the road thinking I was going to throw up, but instead just stood there. No explanations.  I finally found the courage to run again, but it was quite slow.  I ended up running with a future athlete of mine Chris Schroll (I will get to this in a bit). We both traded shitty spurts of greatness and in the end we were next to each other at the finish line.  I sat stunned in disbelief for a good 10-15 minutes although it felt like an eternity after the race.  How could things have gone so poorly? Why did that just happen to me?  I finally went and cooled down with my tail firmly tucked between my legs.

The next race on the schedule was to be the USA Half Marathon Championships held in conjunction with the Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, MN.  This would be the end of my "season" and at least my parents would be there to race the Grandma's Marathon.  After this race I would reflect and see where I was emotionally and physically with running.  A few days before the race I got a phone call. This wasn't any phone call, it may be one of the most important phone calls of my life.  My former coach Chris Zeller called me.  He had sent me a text the night before asking my work schedule so he could call me the next day. I figured he would just want to catch up or let me know how his child was on the way or something of the sort.  It was nothing of the sort.  He started off by checking in and seeing how I was doing, but then he asked if I would come back and be an Assistant Coach.  The first year would be volunteer, but after that I could take graduate work and then hopefully earn my own coaching job.  I told him I would have to think about it for a bit and talk to my family and he was cool with that.  When my parents got in to Minnesota it was much of what we talked about. By the end of the weekend I knew exactly what I was doing, and that was returning to Eastern Washington University to be a coach.

I ran the Half Marathon Championships knowing I was returning to Cheney.  I was excited, but that couldn't change that my body was not ready for what I wanted to do in the Half.  I was not frustrated as I knew I was going to be reunited with a coach who had done so much for my running.  Once I started back up in the running game I noticed a rejuvenated me.  I was feeling good on more and more of my runs. I was gaining confidence.  The only lingering fear was that I had only had about one race that was good in the last 18 months and maybe two races in two years.  I needed to get out there and shake the rust.

Remember how I talked about Chris Schroll? Well he is on the EWU team.  During team camp he pretty much called me out on my "behavior" or false bravado at Bloomsday.  He asked, "Are we going to see the "stoic" Paul of Bloomsday? Or are we going to see your old cocky, happy-go-lucky self?"  This was a bit of an eye opener for me leading up to my first race and I knew that I had to just be myself once again while racing. No fear, just enjoying the moment.  I couldn't act like it was a job anymore, I had to act like it was a passion.  This passion would return by racing with energy, fun and passion again.

I returned to racing by joining Club Northwest members at the Lake Padden Invite in Bellingham, WA.  The race went out slower than expected for me and by the two mile mark I found myself taking control of the race.  Hold on a second. Me? Taking over the lead? The answer was yes.  I was confident. I could run with anyone, I could beat anyone.  At around 4.5 miles of this 10k, a runner from Alaska Anchorage took over the lead. His name was Micah Chelimo. I sat on his shoulder at this point hoping to use a kick at the end of the race.  He was able to pull away from me and in the end I took second.  This was a giant step forward. I hadn't had the confidence to hold a lead in a long time. I went through 5k just a hair slower than I had for a FLAT road 5k in Minneapolis in May.  To add on that, Chelimo would go on to win the Division II National Championship.  My next race would  be the next weekend with the EWU team in Lewiston, ID.  There would be plenty of good runners and another good challenge.  Teams from WSU, Idaho, Gonzaga, U of Calgary and LC State would be there to give me this challenge. At the gun, nobody seemed to want the lead, so again for the second time in two races, I found myself leading the race.  I went through the first mile in the lead before a few runners from WSU came up and started trading the lead with me. We bounced back and forth on this loop course with each side taking short leads over the other.  With 1k to go I knew I had to go.  Both of these runners had great track credentials and I hadn't done squat.  I took off and in that last kilometer I put a seven second gap over the second place runner.  I was stoked. It was my first win in a long time and I put down a hell of an effort to win it.  I was back, and I knew it.

A couple of weeks later I would continue my season at the PNTF XC championships in Seattle at Lower Woodland park. For those of you who don't know the course, try thinking of the most dizzying roller coaster you have ever been on and multiply that by about 100 and you have the Lower Woodland course.  It is a brutally hilly course with lots of tight turns and mud on those tight turns.  To add to the misery there is enough pavement to scare you out of wearing spikes.  I would take a share of the lead with a few Club Northwest teammates before succumbing to the greatness of Joe Gray.  I ended up second, but it gave me a fair pay day and another finish behind a great runner.

Two weeks later I returned to action at the USATF Regional Championships. This race usually only attracts locals and so I figured it was mine to lose.  Just as I was warming up I noticed a guy that I was asked to train with from Kenya.  He was supposedly a 13:40 5k runner and a 28:30 10k runner.  I was getting nervous before I told myself to shut up and race.  At the gun, I again took the lead and after 30 meters I never saw anyone in front of me again for the rest of the 8k race.  After 1.5 miles I was far enough ahead to joke with co workers who were at the race and high five the kids who just ran the Junior Olympic race.  I won handily by nearly two minutes and was quite satisfied. I was ready for Nationals.

Club Nationals had not been good to me the previous two years. I ran like crap at both.  But this time I had to be a leader and I had to show I could hold on with some big boys.  The course was muddy and perfect for Cross Country. I got out solidly before settling into my pace.  The problem came around two mile when the pace of the front group picked up a bit and I was boxed along the fence line.  I dropped back quite a few spots at this point and found myself losing my contact.  I was beginning to get some of the old vibes of fear and false bravado before I told myself that I had to race and that I had put in the work to run great here.  I came back strong and was picking off people left and right. It helped that my Club Northwest teammates were loud and giving me extra motivation.  I kicked down a few guys in the last 600 and ended up in 20th overall. Not bad considering the guys around me were all Olympic Trials qualifiers and All-Americans in college. I didn't carry either of those credentials.  I was ecstatic and for the first time in three years I had a season to be proud of.

Bad news would come a week later when I found out that my contract with the Brooks ID program would not be renewed. I felt gutted about the situation and in all honesty a bit pissed off.  How could I not be renewed after the season I just had? But finally I realized its a business and not everything is going to bounce your way.  I will use it as positive for motivation in this upcoming year. This leads me to my song at the top, which I know was about two hours of reading ago.  I have not signed a contract, but will receiving help from Adidas as a sort of "brand ambassador" this year.  I look forward to it as I feel it is a company that is doing some real positives in the sport. I hope to help them find what may be their "flaws" and help them achieve what they want in the running industry.

As far as 2013 goes I think this will be a special year.  I have set my goals high and I plan on doing the right things to achieve them.  With Chris Zeller as my coach I have my confidence back and with the solid team we are building at Eastern I am getting great running partners out of the deal.  The goal will once again be the 10k, but maybe expect to see me in the Half Marathon at the end of the year. Only time will tell. Here is to a great 2013 for all!